Complete

Complete trust. Complete love. Complete? I have never felt completely about anything. Especially when it comes to men. You stood the test of time. You were oh sooo patient. Sending me reminders every now and then saying "hey, i'm still here". You proved to me by your actions that you were being sincere. Not another fly by night man looking for his next "meal". Me being the stubborn girl that I am. I was searching for something that was in front of me all along. Realizing what I had missed out on, too little to late.

But was it? I took it as God's lesson for me not to judge a book by its cover, a lost opportunity; one of my very first regrets. Because lord knows I've made my mistakes when it comes to choosing men. I prayed for him to bring me a good, family man. I waited, then dated, and waited again. This "missed opportunity" you took it as your last and only chance for a possibility. All it took was a tiny bit of faith. I went along with it even though I had my doubts.

Till this day you have proven me wrong on any past idea I've had about men and relationships. You show me that there are still good, wholesome men in this world. You've taught me that there is such a thing as unconditional love and acceptance. Our bond and love only get deeper with time. Don't get it twisted.This is no honeymoon. We fight. We argue. We disagree. But we realize when we are wrong and we correct it. And we move forward. We dont look back. We don't harbor on it. We don't let it poison us. We remember the good times and the bad to remind us how far we have come. And how much more we have to grow. We have reaped what we've sown. I never imagined a day like this. To where I could give myself completely to someone and they could do the same and not only was it appreciated. It was praised. I guess its the way we were raised.

We learn from each other. We praise each other. We love each other.

In the end that's all that matters. Let's forget the color of our skin, or the situation that were currently in, because people always have an opinion and have an issue with it. And it's rarely ever positive. People are so quick to enter doubt into our minds. And some of us feed into it. And some of us don't. Because this time. Because THIS time. I know it's different. There is no doubt in my mind that it's different. And nobody has to see it. As long as you and I see it. Nobody has to believe in us. It doesn't matter. As long as WE believe in us that is all that matters. Because no one will make or break our relationship, unless we ALLOW them to. The negativity goes in one ear and out of the other. These are people who don't know anything about us. They really don't know any better and think they are doing a service to us.

No matter what is said or done, we come out stronger every time. We not only prove them wrong, if we doubt ourselves we prove us wrong as well.

I pray that if it's meant to be, it will be. I hope it is. Cuz I really can't imagine life without you in it.

February in Vermont

My aunt Loyda, Malespin, Vincent and I went to Stowe, Vermont in February during mid winter break. Weather was unseasonably mild according to the residents. ( I being from florida was freezing my arse off)
Had a great time.

We stayed at The Golden Eagle Resort. We loved it. We must have booked the honey moon suite. It had a hot tub in the living room area (sofa bed included). It also had a nice queen bed and a lot of room. We had a gas fire place, but you can opt for a real wood one. I liked their breakfast restaurant. Food was so delicious and fresh. The orange juice was amazing.

For lunch we went to The Green Goddess in Stowe, Vermont. Food was awesome. I didnt take any pictures of the inside, But its cute and comfy. No other place stood out to me besides that one. The owners were very nice and even came out to talk to us. They also helped us get our car that got stuck in slushy ice.

I took some photos. Mainly of our walk through the trail that was by our room. Vincent had an awesome time looking at the wildlife tracks that were left behind.

Enjoy the pictures!

http://www.goldeneagleresort.com/
http://www.greengoddessvt.com/ggc_reviews.html

http://mercyforanimals.org/pigabuse/

TAKE ACTION: http://mercyforanimals.org/pigabuse/take-action.aspx

Photos: http://mercyforanimals.org/pigabuse/photos.aspx

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From Colorado to Utah. Whitewater Rafting

Spent 3 days and two nights roughing it up in the woods and rafting starting in Grand Junction, Colorado and ending up in Utah. Went with 23 other co-workers. Expense fully paid by my company. Used a groover! Don't know what that is? Look it up! Used wipes to bathe the important parts and needless to say, gave thanks to the lord for helping someone invent showers. I think I took the longest shower and was thankful for the first time ever!

Landing in Colorado.

Walk around the "neighborhood".

My Nikon L120 :)

Eagle Lake Park

I first saw this camera at Walmart and fell in love with it. I researched it and thought it would be a great starter camera. I've only owned Kodak cameras until now and I can say I will never go back. Below are my first photos: My sister is credited for taking some of these photos. :)

Not Your Bank, of America.

Ever have a bank that you were happy with? I did. Mine was Washington Mutual.
I liked it because you didn't have to use direct deposit to get it free. It was free. Period. No strings attached. No monthly access fee's. No "how much you use your account fees". Practically you wouldn't get charged for making a left turn on a Friday afternoon if it was overcast. I used to get cashiers checks and money orders for free. I didn't have an issue. Most people don't feel that way, but it's just me. I loved Washington Mutual.

If I deposited a check it would be there that day or the latest the next day. No questions asked.

Now. Washington Mutual became Chase. Because they (Washington Mutual), like other banks-- made risky lending practices and ended up loosing. When Washington Mutual became Chase is where all of my problems started. So I took my stuff and went elsewhere. I researched hard on banks and their fees. The bank that came the closest was Regions. They did have fees, but not as much as every other bank. So I went with them. I didn't really have a problem. I did occasionally, but not on a constant basis.

Now that I am moving to NY I had to close my regions as they are not in NY. I hesitantly opened a Bank of America Account. (I had an account with them before and they fee'd the hell out of me) Granted, I am a single mom. I am on one income. No outside help what so ever. No second job, nothing. I literally have every penny accounted for. I'm not on food stamps. I'm not on Welfare, Section 8, Housing. Nothing. I take care of my business. I literally live from paycheck to paycheck like most people. Except I don't have the affordable luxury of being able to afford things like cable or Internet. I don't have extra money to "give" to bank for fees. I'd rather give it to the less fortunate.

SO!

I opened the account for one reason. That reason was the checks that were issued from my job were from Bank of America. I figured how could I have issues with my account if my jobs account and mine are in the same bank? I was wrong. It all started with my bonus check. They wouldn't cash their own damn check..... Are you KIDDING ME???? Granted I know business are not good these days and their might be an issue. However, last time I checked our company made "The top places to work three years in a row.

How can you pull a three peat two years in a row?

http://www.tampabay.com/news/business/workinglife/top-three-workplaces-new-york-life-american-strategic-insurance-and-st/1163251

It's an (A-) A.M. Best Rated Company.
http://www3.ambest.com/ratings/FullProfile.asp?Bl=0&AMBNum=12150&AltSrc=1&AltNum=&URATINGID=437319&Ext_User=&Ext_Misc

I'm pretty sure you can more than verify that my check will clear.

So my bonus check they wouldn't cash. I advised them to cash a portion and deposit the rest. I didn't need my whole bonus check, just enough to buy Christmas presents.

I left the account open since December. I didn't take any money out or put any in. I started getting a $8.95 "access fee". If I took money out of my savings more than three times a month I got a fee. Granted I didn't use my savings as a "savings" acct. I used it to hold my bills so I wouldn't use it. I would then pay my bills from my savings account. Got a fee for that. My question is since when is it your business what I do with my money? Since when should I get penalized for using my own money?

I deposited my payroll check with them and they put a hold on it. Granted they tried this before and I told them simply "No" and they didn't. This time I deposited through an ATM and they got me. Held my Payroll check for 3 business days and one non-business day. (4 days all together).

I got a 3 day notice from my apartment complex because I didn't have the full amount to pay it. (Late Fees)
I got a late fee on my car payment and I couldn't even look at my light bill due to the racked up late fees that I incurred.

I barely have any food in my fridge.

So I called Bank of America Saturday, they said they couldn't do anything as the ATM is in a different "system" and can't take off the hold. I go in on Monday and talk to someone who pretty much told me the same thing (after waiting almost 20 minutes to be seen). Finally I tweeted my frustration and got a response from their "tweet team". I spoke to her on Monday and she took the hold of on Tuesday as a "courtesy" and reminded me that Bank of America has the right to hold any checks that are turned in to them.

According to Bank of America, it's whenever they feel like it. Because they can tell you when, where, and how you can use or access your money. You do not have control over your money. They do. I  cant understand how they think that's right. So, I decided I was going to go bank commando. No bank especially Bank of America is not going to screw me for nothing.

So I wanted especially thank Bank of America for being OK with holding my check and also withholding food from my sons mouth.

I would like to thank Bank of America for the courtesy of allowing me to incur all of my late fees due to them holding the check.

I would like to also thank Bank of America for making me a true believer of why I will NEVER bank with them and possibly any other bank at least for a long time. Let's see how long I can hold out.

Being a responsible person is important to me. Not living beyond my means is important to me. It's kind of hard to be that way when you have a bank controlling your hard earned money at the end of the day. "Just Because".

Well as of tomorrow I will no longer be a Bank of America Customer. "Just Because"

My Paint Brush

Paintbrush

I keep my paintbrush with me,
Wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up,
So the real me doesn't show.
I'm so afraid to show me to you,
Afraid of what you'll do,
That you might laugh or say mean things,
I'm afraid I might lose you.
I'd like to remove all of my paint coats,
To show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
Now my coats are all stripped off,
I feel naked, bare and cold,
And if you still love me with all that you see,
You're my friend pure as gold.
I need to keep my paintbrush with me,
And hold it in my hand.
I want to keep it handy,
In case somebody doesn't understand.
So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true.
But I need to keep my paintbrush with me,
Until I love me too.
~Anonymous

I was 16 when I first read this poem and it literally brought me to tears. I felt exactly that same way. It was as if someone had come into my soul and wrote down how I felt. Something I kept in for so many years now out in the open. Except I was only exposing it to myself. No one was around. Maybe I was in denial and reading it made me realize I was that person.

This impending move has made me want to pick that brush back up again. A brush I put down a long time ago.
Then I started asking myself why?
It took years for me to strip myself down. Learning who I really was along the way. Learning to speak up for myself. Learning to say no when I wanted to say no and stop trying to please people. Even though I sometimes fall back into trying to do that.

I started doubting if I really loved myself. Started feeling insecure again. I guess it's a part of life. The unknown is scary. I almost started disguising my fear. I picked the brush up and looked at myself, then I put it back down. Facing my fears without my brush.